Toddler Temper Tantrums: Why They Happen & How to Respond

Parenthood is beautiful, but temper tantrums can be a handful for even those parents who are doing a great job. One moment, your child is your bundle of joy, but the very next minute, they are rolling on the floor, screaming and throwing a tantrum. These tantrums can be exhausting, confusing, and sometimes even embarrassing. You are not alone and there are effective ways of handling these tantrums. This blog is a guide that will help you manage and sometimes even prevent your baby from throwing a tantrum.

What are Toddler Tantrums?

When your child struggles to process their own feelings, they tend to throw a tantrum, often known as toddler temper tantrums. These dramatic episodes often include crying, screaming, stomping, or even hitting. For toddlers whose communication skills and emotional levels are still developing, it is a way of expressing anger, frustration, and even needs that are not fulfilled. It is your child’s way of saying that they are overwhelmed without having the words to express it.

When do Tantrums Start in Toddlers?

Most toddlers begin throwing tantrums between the ages of 1 and 3. This is when children become more aware of what they need and want, but they cannot convey it to you properly. his phase, often called the Terrible Twos, is when toddlers assert their independence, leading to frustration and outbursts due to limited verbal skills. It is a normal phase of development and if your child is throwing tantrums more often, you need to understand the reason behind their behaviour. By age 4, tantrums usually become less frequent as children develop better ways to communicate.

Why do Tantrums Happen? Causes of Toddler Tantrums

Understanding why your child is throwing a tantrum is key to handling tantrums better. Here are a few causes:

1. Physical Causes: Hunger, tiredness, and illnesses can make children throw tantrums more often. Little bodies are very sensitive to discomfort and they don’t know how to handle it properly.
2. Not Getting What They Want: When they don’t get the toy, snack, or attention they crave, it can turn into frustration and it can quickly turn into a fit.
3. Desire for Control and Independence- Children want to make their own decisions but the restrictions set by parents can cause them to throw tantrums.
4. Seeking Attention: Sometimes toddlers only throw tantrums because they want your attention. It is your child’s need for connection that they show through tantrums.
5. Feeling Frustrated: When your baby struggles with finishing a task or when they cannot understand a situation, they can throw a tantrum out of frustration.
6. Testing Limits: Babies like to explore your boundaries, sometimes they may just throw a tantrum to see what they can get away with and how far they can push your limits.

How To Handle Toddler Tantrums?

Even with the best prevention strategies, tantrums will still happen. Here’s how to handle them calmly and effectively:

1. Handle Aggressive Behavior Immediately: If your toddler hits, kicks, or throws objects, set firm boundaries. Say, “We don’t hit. Let’s take deep breaths together.” Redirect their energy toward something safe, like a stuffed animal or a pillow they can squeeze.
2. Refrain From Yelling: Raising your voice escalates the situation. Instead, stay calm and use a soft, steady tone to guide your child toward self-regulation.
3. Let Your Child Be Angry: It’s okay for toddlers to express frustration. Let them cry or vent in a safe space without immediately rushing to stop them. Give them time to calm down on their own.
4. Use Brief Commands: Long explanations don’t work in the heat of a tantrum. Use short, clear directions like, “Sit down.” “Take a breath.” This helps prevent overstimulation.
5. Distract Them: Redirecting attention can quickly diffuse a tantrum. Point out a toy, funny object, or change the environment to break their focus on frustration.
6. Don’t React Emotionally: If a tantrum is not harmful, try planned ignoring—pretend it’s not happening until they calm down. If they realize tantrums don’t get them attention, they’ll reduce over time.
7. Speak Softly: Your toddler will mirror your behavior. If you stay calm, they will learn to do the same. Keep your tone gentle and reassuring.
8. Offer Choices: Giving toddlers choices makes them feel empowered. Instead of forcing an action, say: “Do you want to clean up your blocks or your crayons first?”

Can Temper Tantrums be Prevented?

When children throw tantrums, it can feel chaotic, but if you know the strategies to handle them, you can manage them well:

1. Be Assertive

   If your baby is throwing tantrums aggressively, you need to be assertive and tell them, “We don’t hit’’ and divert their attention.

2. Refrain from Yelling

   Yelling will make the situation worse, make sure you use a low voice and communicate softly.

3. Let your Child be Angry

   Sometimes the best way to handle a situation like this is to let your child be. Let them take time to calm down and figure out their emotions.

4. Use Brief Commands

   Complicated instructions can upset an already upset toddler. Keep instructions simple and clear, such as, “Sit down.” ‘Do this’ etc.

5. Distract Them

   When your baby throws a tantrum, you need to make sure you distract them with something fun and interesting. Diverting their mind is the best way to diffuse a tantrum.

6. Don’t React

   You should avoid giving your child’s tantrums too much attention. It gives a message to your baby that throwing tantrums is not a way of getting things done.

7. Speak Softly

   If your tone is calm and soft, it will help your child soothe and calm down. Children will copy your calm behaviour.

8. Offer Choices

   Give your children simple choices like,’’ do you want to clean up your blocks or your crayons first.’’ Giving them these options makes them feel like they have control.

How Parents Make Tantrums Worse: Toddler Tantrum Don’ts

Certain reactions can unintentionally trigger tantrums. Here is everything you can avoid

1. Losing Your Temper: Reacting with anger will only make your child’s behaviour worse.
2. Giving in: Though it may end the tantrum for the time being, it gives your child a message that they can have it their way if they throw a tantrum.
3. Bribery: If you tell your child you’ll treat them if they do something, it will make them throw tantrums more often in the future.
4. Paying Too Much Attention: If you give them too much attention, it can make them repeat the tantrum.
5. Repeating Warnings: If you have to repeat yourself very often, it can become too frustrating for you and your toddler.
6. Consoling them Too Much: If you molly-coddle your baby too often, they can get used to external reassurance.
7. Reasoning: You must remember, that toddlers will not understand complex explanations when they are throwing a tantrum.

It can be overwhelming to deal with toddler tantrums but you must understand that it is a part of their growing up. By using practical strategies, understanding the reasons, and staying calm you can manage the tricky tantrums easily. Remember to be patient and you will be out of this phase in no time.

FAQs

1. What’s the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown?

   A tantrum is usually a goal-oriented emotional outburst, while a meltdown occurs when a child is overwhelmed and unable to regain control.

2. What do I do when my child is having a toddler tantrum?

   Speak softly, identify the cause, and try distraction or planned ignoring. Avoid punishment or invalidating their feelings.

3. How do I handle toddler tantrums in public?

   Find a safe space and let the tantrum play out while managing your own calm demeanour. Ignore the stares and focus on your child.

4. How can I prevent tantrums?

   Stick to routines, meet basic needs, and offer choices to reduce frustration and anxiety.

5. At what age do toddlers typically outgrow tantrums?

   Most children have fewer tantrums by age four as their communication and impulse control improve.

6. Is it okay to ignore toddler tantrums?

   Yes, planned ignoring can teach your child that tantrums are not effective while ensuring you stay supportive.

7. Can certain foods or lack of sleep trigger tantrums?

   Yes, diet and sleep are crucial. Unstable blood sugar levels or insufficient rest can make toddlers more prone to tantrums.