What to Expect and How to Deal with the ‘Terrible Twos’

Being a toddler parent is an adventure. It is full of love, laughter, and joy, but as your little one gets closer to the age of 2, you will encounter a whole new phase called the terrible twos. Your baby’s emotions and behaviours will become unpredictable, and it could be overwhelming. You need to understand what terrible twos mean and understanding them will help you navigate through this phase with ease and make it more manageable.

What are the Terrible Twos?

The terrible twos are a development phase that toddlers go through at the age of two. Their emotional outbursts, defiance, and mood swings become prominent. This a natural part of your child’s growth, they become more assertive of their independence and start exploring the world around them.

Terrible twos do not mean that your child is terrible. It is a phase during their growth where they are struggling with their growing independence, limited communication skills, and emotional regulation. This period in their lives though tough on you, shows that they are developing fine in their cognition and emotions.

Why are the Twos so Terrible?

If you are wondering why they are called the terrible twos, the answer lies in your child’s fast development. Children at this age are developing a sense of self. This age usually makes them test their boundaries. They want to make decisions but they do not have the skills to communicate effectively. This can make them frustrated and sometimes lead to them throwing tantrums.

Their behavior is not about defiance but rather it is their way to express their new-found independence and emotions. If you understand this, you can approach their behavior with patience and empathy.

When do the Terrible Twos Start?

Terrible twos, unlike their name, can start as early as 18 months, and sometimes it can stretch beyond their second year. The starting of the terrible twos differs from child to child. The signs usually begin to show when your baby begins to walk, talk, and develop choices. All of this is part of their need for independence.

Has Your Child Entered the ‘Terrible Twos’?

Here are signs that will tell you if your child has entered the terrible twos:

1. Saying No More Often: Your toddler’s favourite word might become “no,” as they become more assertive.
2. Temper Tantrums: You can expect sudden and intense tantrums triggered by frustration when they don’t get what they want.
3. Increased Defiance: Your baby may resist instructions, testing boundaries to see what they can get away with.
4. Kicking, Biting, or Hitting: Physical expressions of frustration can come out in the form of aggressive behaviour like biting, kicking, and hitting as your little one struggles to figure out their feelings.
5. Mood Swings: Their emotions can shift from happiness to anger and sadness in seconds.
6. Opposition: Even routine tasks, like getting dressed or eating, might become battlegrounds.

How to Deal with the Terrible Twos?

Handling this phase in your toddler’s life needs you to be patient, creative, and consistent. Here is what you can do to make terrible twos less stressful:

1. Have a Behaviour Plan: You have to set clear boundaries and consequences for unacceptable actions. Consistency helps your child understand what is expected.
2. Provide a Childproofed Environment: You have to ensure your home is safe for exploration. Minimizing hazards reduces stress for both you and your toddler.
3. Have a Distraction Ready: You have to keep their favourite toys or books handy to divert their attention during meltdowns.
4. Keep Snacks Handy: Hunger can increase tantrums. You should offer healthy snacks to your baby at regular intervals to maintain their mood and energy.
5. Minimise Saying No: Instead of constantly saying no, you should divert their attention with other activities.
6. Don’t Overtax Them: Avoid overwhelming your toddler with too many activities or decisions in a short period.

How Long do the Terrible Twos Last?

The duration of the terrible twos varies from child to child. In most cases, the phase ends by the time your baby turns 3 or 4 years old. You may continue to see defiance and tantrums in some toddlers, depending on their temperament.

What Comes After the Terrible Twos?

Once the terrible twos end, your child will develop better communication skills and behaviour. They will be more emotionally stable, and the period when your child turns three will bring new milestones. They will develop more freedom and better communication skills. The new challenges of school and routine will follow once the terrible twos end.

When to Get Help for the Terrible Twos?

While the terrible twos are a normal phase, there may be times when you may need to take some expert guidance. If your child is throwing tantrums excessively, if their tantrums become prolonged and violent, you must consider visiting a paediatrician or child psychologist to understand the situation better.

As a parent, terrible twos can be a testing time for you but it is also a time when your baby is growing remarkably and discovering things. If you can understand the reason behind their behavior, stay patient, and use effective ways to deal with the situation, like distracting them, etc, you can make this phase easy for both you and your baby. You must remember that you need to be consistent and patient through this phase and enjoy the small wins as your child learns new skills.